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Adelle Onyango

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I love endings, they bring new beginnings.

That sounded deeper in my head than it looks written!

Fake depth aside, for the past 2 years, I set goals (smashed the hell out of most of them) and most recently took on my fears head-on! For most of my life, I have always been a prisoner of fear. Fear of the unknown being the specific fear I’ve battled for the longest. I mean I low-key fought my fear of heights – went indoor rock climbing and scaled one wall. Granted it was the kiddie wall…but I was still off the ground. I tackled my fear of snakes by actually holding one, around my neck. Granted it was a dare and I can never pass off on dares. But still, I did it. And it’s documented on AdelleTV.

The fear of the unknown has held me captive on and off for years! It made me stay in relationships longer than I should have, at jobs longer than I should, kept friendships longer than I should. Chances are you’re battling fear of the unknown too.

So I’ve put together three “Fear of the unknown hacks” that are working for me!

DISCLAIMER: I’m still knee deep in fighting it but currently winning!

  1. Go through all the emotions.
    The spirit will make you extremely uncomfortable when it’s trying to push you out of your comfort zone. Your first reaction will most probably be to fight it. To go against your gut. That clash will drain you emotionally. For me, I’d have wild panic attacks, heavy sense of hopelessness and random outbursts of tears. In fact, I remember going to a bakery with my husband and he parked the car and went into the bakery, leaving me seemingly ok in the car. When he came back I was in tears – serious tears. At the time I didn’t understand all those strange emotions and sometimes I’d try and bottle them up – which doesn’t work. In hindsight, I’m happy I went through them. I needed to do that to get them out of the way so that I could plan, void of emotional outburst.
  2. Make a plan.
    Fear of the unknown thrives in environments that have no plan. Once you visualize what your next step looks like, put down a plan to make it a reality – on paper or on a whiteboard like me. But there’s got to be a wriggle room in your plan for things not to go as planned. Sometimes I’ve had a great plan and the universe throws major plot twists my way that used to throw me into a panic. So now I try to leave some wriggle room for life to you know, do its thing.
  3. Invest in healthy support systems.
    Battling fear is extremely draining and you need to sets of people to form a support system. Once you have the plan, you need to pick people who’ll help you execute it. People you can trust and who have the very necessary skills needed for the plan. The second group of people are there for emotional support. People who can hold you when you feel broken but that also hit you with the sometimes painful truths.

Hope those tips help! Right now let me get back to reading Michelle Obama’s book; in fact, I’ll leave you with one of my fave quotes by her:

“Don’t ever make decisions based on fear. Make decisions based on hope and possibility. Make decisions based on what should happen, not what shouldn’t.”